More Pregnancy, Birth and Baby jokes

Jokes:
1. "There's a new baby at our house," Sally informed the mailman. "Is that so? Is he going to stay?" asked the mailman. "I think so," replied Sally glumly. "He's got all his things off."

2. The meeting went on for quite a while, toward the end the junior executive couldn't quite cover up a huge yawn. "Jones, you're never going to get ahead in this company on less than a full night's sleep," snapped the chairman. "You're absolutely right, sir," replied the fellow wearily, "but you try getting that across to my 2 month old baby."

3. After going through Lamaze, Leboyer, and La Leche classes with his expectant wife, the proud new father remained by his wife's bedside throughout labor and delivery. Wanting to be as sympathetic as possible, he took his wife's hand afterward and said emotionally, "Tell me how it was, darling, how it actually felt to give birth." "Okay, honey," his wife replied. "Smile as hard as you can." Beaming down beautifully at his wife and newborn child, the man commented, "That's not so hard." She continued, "Now stick a finger in each corner of your mouth." He obeyed, smiling broadly. "Now stretch your lips as far as they'll go," she went on. "Still not too tough," he remarked. "Right," she snapped. "Now pull them over your head."

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Quotes:
1. I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else. -- Will Rogers, 1879-1935

2. After all I'm your father. It's true if it hadn't been me it would have been someone else. But that's no excuse. -- Samuel Beckett, 1906-89

3. The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg. -- P. G. Wodehouse, 1881-1975

4. There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies. -- Winston Churchill, 1874-1965

Tip - Children are precious! Let's keep them safe by making sure they are protected wherever they are. Click here for more info. on some of the best in Child Safety Products!
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